Idiot

You are fucking her.  And she is pregnant!!!!  What a fucking idiot.  She is nearly half your age.    What is she? 24/25/26 and you are 42!!!


Part of me wants to laugh at you and part of me wants to rip your balls off.  Whatever possessed you to go there?  Don't tell me - my wife doesn't understand me, I don't get much at home, we don't have sex any more.


I metaphorically want to kill you and her.  That poor little bastard.  I bet she won't get rid of it.  How are you going to explain to to your mum that she will have another grandchild, but it will be 15 years younger and not belonging to your wife!!!  Maybe you'll get the boy you always wanted that I was incapable of producing for you (failure again).


Do you want Sarah?  Does she want you?  She is welcome to you.  She is welcome to everything that goes with you.


If she doesn't want you - where does that leave you.  Not with me that's for certain.  I could not live the rest of my life knowing that you cared so little about me that you fathered a child while you were still married to me.  That is the ultimate betrayal.  I can just about come to terms with that fact that you have had sex with someone else whilst married to me.  I did not know this other person, it was a long time ago and I have come to terms with it now.  But this is something totally different, too close to home for there to be any resurrection of our marriage.


I did not expect to get to 43 years old and have to be thinking about going to get myself checked for STI's!!!!!!  Thanks a bunch for that.


I hate the thought of having to tell people.  It crossed my mind to update my status to let everyone know if you haven't told me by the middle of this week, .  I soon changed my mind when I realised that it would not be fair on the girls to find out this way.  It is going to be hard enough already.


How are you going to tell me?  As you say, it's not something you can just drop into the conversation, is it?  "I've had a good day at work and, by the way, I have fucked someone else and they are pregnant.  How was your day, dear?"  Won't work, will it?


I hope you have been thinking about how to tell them.  I hope you are shitting yourself about it.


25/6/11