It's so easy for everyone to say "kick him out", "get rid of him", "I wouldn't put up with it", "this is what you should do", "leave him". It's so easy when you are looking in on someone else's life but not when it's your own. You have an emotional tie to your own life - not to someone else's.
I know all that but it is still not easy at all. I have been with this man for most of my life, all of my adult life and have known nothing else. In some strange way I suppose I still love him but I cannot live with him at all any more. The thought of what he did just makes my skin crawl and the tears start afresh.
One person says just leave, another says kick him out, I don't know what to do - it's his home as well. Memories are here - both good and bad.
My girls are now my life. I would do any thing to protect them. It's going to be hard on them as well. They know their father is not perfect, but he is still their father. They know he is a twat but he is still their father.
I've got to deal with this now.
I've got to be strong.
I've got to put myself first for a change.
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