Making Sense

I am still here - still trying to make sense of everything.

I have finally got an appointment to see a counsellor.  It was supposed to be at the end of the month but has been brought forward to next week.  I might actually be able to get things sorted out in my own mind as to what I want to happen.

I think that after speaking to a counsellor I will be able to move forward with my life. At the moment I am still thinking of everyone else and not necessarily myself. I have got to face telling my mother, my dad and grandparents!! Not looking forward to that.

She BBM'd him yesterday to tell him she had been to the midwife.  He said that he wasn't convinced that she was pregnant.  She then invited him over to do a test. Surely she wouldn't do this if she wasn't pregnant?  He told her that he wanted a DNA test. Apparently she is about 9 weeks pregnant. I think the chances of her terminating are now very small.

He said last night that one of the women he knows from DJ'ing asked him a while ago if he was shagging her. I think he is finally coming round to realising that he was actually having a relationship with her, not just a bit of fun and banter as he saw it in his mind. Obviously people around him could see that there was an emotional relationship between them, even if it was not physical.  I want to know what happened but I don't (if that makes sense).  I have reiterated time and time again to him though that I cannot get over the fact that he has slept with another woman. Even if this woman had not got pregnant, she would have been the end of our relationship because he was emotionally involved with her.  If he had a one night stand, maybe it would be easier to deal with?

He has told me that I can ask anything about anything and he will tell me. He does not see the point of lying or beating around the bush now!! I don't know if I want answers to some questions.